welcome to my life

Days are really different nowadays

I feel more, free and nothing much to do, other than serving my NS

Times I just wouldn't mind to get extra, or weekend duties because I am that bored

In my extra time, I go down to backcourt to play some basketball

I've met this bunch of younger generation kids playing there

Usually, I would hang out with them, on court and after 10pm

It is really fun though, to be looking after them, like an older brother to them

Because they really remind me of my older days, where I just come to play basketball, and have fun

Times, I would just see them do stupid things, and laugh along, thinking to myself " Hey, I was once like this before"

If possible, I would wanna lead them to the right path

Teaching them things that they might not learn in life

It feels really great, to see them grow, into stronger individuals

I really hope they can become a better person when they grow up

This year really wasn't a good one

Didn't start off good, and didn't go through it that smoothly

Had an onslaught of bad things happening to me

I came into my unit, at its most active moment

I had to deal with a lot of things, and forced to learn things the hard way

There is no, first-timer mistake

Once I made a mistake the first time, I am condemned

Yes, this is how scary it is, and I believe my superiors are watching me real closely because of the mistakes I make

Its hard though, to reach the same level of efficiency as my upper study

I know he is a really good medic, and i'm struggling to keep that level of efficiency

Its really hard, to be stuffed with so much info at the same time

I have myself afraid of asking questions, as people might go "What? You don't know how to?"

This, might be the worst

But then, looking back to my past

I haven been actually doing something worthwhile in my life

I had tons of missed opportunities

Lots of regrets, that cannot be undone

I only have myself to blame

I do feel lonely at times, I do

I am a person who demands attention, and till now, I believe that not a single person can dedicate enough attention to me

But then, this is life isn't it?

I'm just tasting the start of adult life, where people start to get busy with their own lives

Friends will start to get really busy, and you won't get to meet them that often anymore

Its all part of life, I have to deal with it

For me to pull through the darkest day, I will need to search for that silver lining

This blog, serves as a reminder to me

All the happy, sad, proud, or whatever moments

I've recorded it down in this electronic diary

I will survive, I do believe I can

I will jump back stronger, like I always do

One day, I will let people know that, I won't be the same person that I was anymore

Micheal Jordan once said "I can accept failure, but I cannot accept not trying"

Its time, for me to take that big step forward